I had to work tonight between the hours of 6 and 11. Tried my damnedest, but I couldn't get the night off. I went so far as bribery (with money that I simply cannot afford to be giving up), but it just wasn't going to happen.
So, like I did on Tuesday in the same situation, I was left pacing around for five hours, praying that I didn't overhear anything. Not a word. Not an eyebrow raise, not a frown, not a smile, not even a sneeze. Not anything. If somebody laughs, I assume Franzen scored. If a light flickers, I assume that Kunitz hit the crossbar on a 2-on-1. Basically, when I have to tape a playoff game, I am an abosolute fucking wreck -- and if I know that somebody knows a score or anything pertaining to the game, my brain fucks with me. I interpret or misinterpret every little detail within a person and translate that into my own conclusion of what happened with the game. I cannot express in words how much it has killed me to not see Games 3 and 4 live, trying to get from 6 o'clock to 11 o'clock without having anything spoiled.
Tonight at 10:55 -- five minutes away from being home free -- I hear somebody say the words, "I don't like it being 2-2 going back to Detroit." My heart sank through my stomach and out of my ass. I literally shat out my heart. "Devastated" might not be a strong enough word to describe how I felt at that moment. Not just because they lost, but oddly, because I didn't get to see it for myself as it happened.
I love being a Red Wings fan, but the Cups are only a small part of it. It's like way down the list of those reasons, actually. I'm not a fan because they win a lot .... I'm a fan for the same reasons that I'm a human being, or that I'm 6'3", or that I'm 23 years old, or that I'm allergic to Penicillin: I just "am". And when someone ruins the ending, and I don't get to go through the same experience as all of the Wing fans who didn't know the ending ahead of time, it feels like that "Red Wing" part of me is totally crushed. Add to that the fact that they lost, and internal organs begin falling out of my orifices.
The guy I was working with said, "well, at least you know not to watch it now," but that's entirely, completely wrong. I don't want to only watch the games they win. I want to see every second of every game, as it's happening. It's corny as all fuck, and I know this, but as a fan of any team you truly feel like you're a part of something, and you want to see everything first hand. Think of it this way: If by some strange circumstance, you are a Red Wings fan who only watched the team during the years '97, '98, '02 and '08, do those championships mean as much to you? Or if you were stranded on an island or some shit from February to August last year and read about the Wings winning the Cup , would it be the same experience watching the games on tape? Of course not.
I know that I'm not the only one who lives this way, and I know this isn't only a "Red Wings" thing. I just had to write something, and obviously a recap wasn't an option. This night completely sucked.
P.S: I was fucking shocked to learn that Pav didn't play. Cmk, Baroque and JB all made mention of not getting their hopes up while I was peeing on things in celebration that Datsyuk's return was upon us. Women are smarter than men.