June 5, 2009

Sledgehammer


I had to work tonight between the hours of 6 and 11.  Tried my damnedest, but I couldn't get the night off.  I went so far as bribery (with money that I simply cannot afford to be giving up), but it just wasn't going to happen.  

So, like I did on Tuesday in the same situation, I was left pacing around for five hours, praying that I didn't overhear anything.  Not a word.  Not an eyebrow raise, not a frown, not a smile, not even a sneeze.  Not anything.  If somebody laughs, I assume Franzen scored.  If a light flickers, I assume that Kunitz hit the crossbar on a 2-on-1.  Basically, when I have to tape a playoff game, I am an abosolute fucking wreck -- and if I know that somebody knows a score or anything pertaining to the game, my brain fucks with me.  I interpret or misinterpret every little detail within a person and translate that into my own conclusion of what happened with the game.  I cannot express in words how much it has killed me to not see Games 3 and 4 live, trying to get from 6 o'clock to 11 o'clock without having anything spoiled.

*****

Tonight at 10:55 -- five minutes away from being home free -- I hear somebody say the words, "I don't like it being 2-2 going back to Detroit."  My heart sank through my stomach and out of my ass.  I literally shat out my heart.  "Devastated" might not be a strong enough word to describe how I felt at that moment.  Not just because they lost, but oddly, because I didn't get to see it for myself as it happened.

I love being a Red Wings fan, but the Cups are only a small part of it.  It's like way down the list of those reasons, actually.  I'm not a fan because they win a lot .... I'm a fan for the same reasons that I'm a human being,  or that I'm 6'3", or that I'm 23 years old, or that I'm allergic to Penicillin:  I just "am".  And when someone ruins the ending, and I don't get to go through the same experience as all of the Wing fans who didn't know the ending ahead of time, it feels like that "Red Wing" part of me is totally crushed.  Add to that the fact that they lost, and internal organs begin falling out of my orifices.  

The guy I was working with said, "well, at least you know not to watch it now," but that's entirely, completely wrong.  I don't want to only watch the games they win.  I want to see every second of every game, as it's happening.  It's corny as all fuck, and I know this, but as a fan of any team you truly feel like you're a part of something, and you want to see everything first hand.  Think of it this way:  If by some strange circumstance, you are a Red Wings fan who only watched the team during the years '97, '98, '02 and '08, do those championships mean as much to you?  Or if you were stranded on an island or some shit from February to August last year and read about the Wings winning the Cup , would it be the same experience watching the games on tape?  Of course not.

I know that I'm not the only one who lives this way, and I know this isn't only a "Red Wings" thing.   I just had to write something, and obviously a recap wasn't an option.  This night completely sucked.


P.S:  I was fucking shocked to learn that Pav didn't play.  Cmk, Baroque and JB all made mention of not getting their hopes up while I was peeing on things in celebration that Datsyuk's return was upon us.  Women are smarter than men.





9 comments:

cmk said...

Couldn't watch past the 4th goal that Pitts scored--I just didn't have it in me to continue. I should have watched, though, because I STILL haven't slept a wink. Such an utter, complete disappointment from when it was announced that Pavel wouldn't play until I heard the final score. Words fail.

And I, for one, am not necessarily smarter than any man--I just know I'm much more pessimistic than just about anyone I have ever met. I DID get my hopes up as game time got closer--and that will never happen again. It was just like being disappointed on Christmas morning when you don't get what you asked for. What a depressing day.

Anonymous said...

Very eloquent Tyler.

I am going to spend the day as far removed from hockey and baseball and I can possibly be (with the exception of reading this blog). My heart has been kicked to the curb.

Tram

hockeychic said...

I thought I might feel better this morning but I still feel awful. However, I'm sticking by my Wings no matter what. I still believe they can turn this around. The second period was just so incredibly ugly that it leaves a bad feeling.

Cameron Kittle said...

They need rest more than anything, and they're not going to get it having to get up and play again tomorrow. They finally get two days off before game six...but the sheer fatigue of the players scares me.

A weekend on the stress train is coming hard...you must turn our luck around Tyler and miss work. Clearly, something needs to change after games three and four.

Anonymous said...

Uh oh. Looks like the better team is finally starting to win. Maybe the Redwings should go talk to the Caps. They will be able to tell you guys what it was like to go up 2-0 and lose the series. GO PENS!

Rumbear said...

"My heart sank through my stomach and out of my ass."

Tyler, do not watch the game or others organs will be lost. Saturday is the turn around...focus on that.

On the bright side...LOOK you picked up an Anonymous troll!

Anonymous said...

You'd better have your pants off today Tyler... and whether you're at work or not (exclamations here).
I'll be performing some of my own secret rituals of mojo up here to help out.

Jim in AK

Anonymous said...

Women aren't smarter than men - some of us have just had a LOT of experience with broken promises and grand plans that fall through. :(

My initial "Wings in six" pick is still alive - but this team is so beat up and drained that it makes me sick. Pittsburgh is just healthier right now, and injuries are one of the biggest determinants of winning in the playoffs.

~~Baroque~~

Joe said...

Pens fan here. Don't worry, I'm not here to rub it in or anything. In fact, I would like to say that I know the feeling of which you speak. Earlier in the Series (Game 1 and 2) I believed to the core of my being that my Penguins could pull out a split at the Joe. Much to my dismay, they dropped both of them and history seemed doomed to repeat itself.

Now that the series has evened up, I think you may be too quick to wallow in your own...excreted organs. I know the Wings looked tired last game, but don't believe for a second they won't show up with their best for Game 5.

Good luck to your side and may we have another spectacular game that causes half the fan base to have myocardial infarctions.